You Don’t Have to Explain Yourself

you don't have to explain yourself

You don’t have to explain yourself. Really. I was in the grocery store the other day watching what was going on. Some people were completely enveloped in their social distancing routine – from not going down an aisle if someone else was anywhere nearby to wearing a mask and gloves to holding their breath.

Other people were not wearing masks or gloves and they were walking wherever they wanted, chatting with their friends, touching their faces…

Noticing this got me thinking…

When a client first starts out using their voice with family or friends (or whomever), one of the biggest hurdles to overcome is notion that when they use their voice, they have to get buy in from the person they’re using it with.

Not true.

Most people don’t change their minds about anything

So, trying to get your mother to agree with you that she has no right to butt into your love life, isn’t going to work.

However, telling your mother that you do not want to talk about that – that’s simply setting a boundary, without judgement, and without needing her to agree with what you’re saying. You’re simply stating what is and isn’t ok with you in that moment.

You don’t have to explain yourself

When you start explaining WHY you need this boundary or WHY this boundary is justified, you move from standing in your power to giving someone else the power because you need their approval for that boundary (and most people won’t give that!).

For those of us that have a challenging time speaking up or standing up for ourselves, the current environment is giving us the perfect  opportunity to simply use our voices. Whether you’re a glove-wearer or not, whether you feel comfortable at the gas pump or not – this is your chance to use your voice.

No justifying.

No explanation.

Just state your boundary and expect the world to heed it.

Love and Light,

PS: Want to learn how to have even BETTER connection with family, friends, and pets? Join me May 28th!

8 replies
  1. Marcia
    Marcia says:

    Believe it or not, I never realized that giving a person the courtesy of explaining my needs, or reasons for said needs, was asking for their permission. I know that now, but it has taken me ling enough to realize it. Thanks for puttingnit out there.

  2. Karen
    Karen says:

    Wow! Perfect timing Danielle!!! I was just having this conversation with my sister because I realized I need to speak up with a certain friend because of things that are coming to the surface during this time and her not respecting my boundaries. You are remarkable! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  3. Wendy
    Wendy says:

    Wow! This email and message came at the perfect time. I was literally just going over (in my head) how I would talk to some particular family members about boundaries. This helped me to rephrase it and put it in a way that leaves no room for arguments. THANK YOU!!!
    I can’t wait for your family and pet connections with John Holland. I am already signed up.


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