Selfish is NOT a Four-Letter Word!

Is Selfish a Four-Letter Word?I don’t believe “Selfish” is a bad word. At least I thought I didn’t believe that anymore – but I recently found a new aspect of this old belief surfacing for release. Phew!

As a child, I was brought up to believe that “good” people gave all of themselves in everything they did and to everyone around them. I wanted to be “good,” so I gave. I really, really gave. I helped friends, family, causes and more (despite any hardship it caused me) – all because I believed that that was what I was supposed to do.

Since then, I’ve spent time working on putting myself first and I have come to believe that I must be in the best space I can be before reaching my hand out to assist someone else.  In fact, I’ve created an entire business around helping others learn to shift when they are doing something because they believe they “need” to into doing that something because it’s just plain awesome.

But we teach what we need to know – and I recently found an area of my life where I hadn’t yet shifted that energy. My son. He’s twelve years old and he’s still my baby. He loves sports. He loves physical challenges and he loves to push himself. In an effort to encourage that, my husband and I said, “yes” to many of the after-school activities he wanted to do: Parkour lessons, hockey, Crossfit, and the school play. Phew!

And while it turns out that he could handle all of these different outings, guess what? I couldn’t.

I found myself taking my laptop to many of his events, sneaking in extra hours of work after he went to bed and spending less time with my husband because we were so occupied doing things with or for my son.

But how do you tell at 12-year-old boy that he can’t do something because you need time for yourself? That you need to take a nap? I didn’t want to change the schedule, but I couldn’t keep up with the pace. I was worried he would think I was… yes… selfish! For needing some non-mothering down time.

But was I really selfish for wanting to take care of myself?

I really had to shift gears and look within to see that this was a new aspect of that old “selfish is a four-letter-word” energy showing up again. Finally, I was able to sit down and talk with my family about the changes we needed to make.  No one called me selfish and yes, we’re all back on track. Phew!

Have you been living parts of your life as if putting yourself first is a bad thing? Now that you stop and think about it – do you really think caring for yourself is bad? If we didn’t put ourselves first, how would any of us have the strength, inner power, and energy to create, be and live in the world?! So many of us have been trained to do anything and everything but be selfish – but when you really stop to look at it, doesn’t it just put you in a better place to contribute to the world? It’s time to begin loving yourself! No matter what you think someone else will say!
Intuitive Consultant Danielle MacKinnon




PS: Think it may be a Soul Contract making you think you’re selfish for putting yourself first? Read more here.

2 replies
  1. Lin
    Lin says:

    Hi Danielle,
    OMG! Reading this today has been a gift. Thank you for helping me to see my behaviour for what it is, and how it started – just like you. I have said at times I need to do as they say on airplanes – parents/care givers need to put their own oxygen masks on 1st – then look after their loved ones. Yet, despite knowing this, I continued to put other’s needs first as I had done all my life. I am going to print this article and put it in my journal to remind me daily, as I try to make the change to fully being present for me as much as I am present for all those around me.


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