How do YOU get angry?

It’s a bit after 9am and I’m finally back in Massachusetts. I returned from Costa Rica to no power, no lights, no nothing! Kevin and Cole had gone out to fetch some dinner since we hadn’t had power for two days and they took Tuukka with them, since she wasn’t enjoying the pitch dark house.

(This is part 1) Read part 1 in this series here.
Read part 2 in this series here.
Read part 3 in the series here.

It’s super weird walking into a house that dark – even one I’ve lived in for more than a decade!

But, that’s all a tangent from what I really wanted to talk about.

One of the major themes in the Costa Rica Horse and Soul workshop I just got finished teaching was about power, anger, and the proper use of these.

Many people in the world avoid using their power to get things done as they associate power with anger. Instead, they try to “nice” people into doing what they want them to do (not very effective!). I know this is something that I have done in the past as well – and I’ve had to really put a spotlight on it to fully understand it.

People who’ve suffered some form of abuse or big challenges in their life often associate anger and power because that’s what they’ve experiences themselves.

How do you get someone to do something – how do you stand in your power – without having to go to the angry place?

Over the past week in the workshop, a lot of people began experimenting with that idea. How do I notch up my “push” energy (as in “Go clean your room now!” or “I want that project completed by Tuesday.” or “I demand to be treated with respect!” without going into anger.

One of the most interesting things about this is that many people found it is possible to separate out the two, just by paying attention to what they were feeling as they notched up their energy.

How do you notch up your energy? Well, you first start by determining what level your energy is at. On a scale of 1-10, where are you? Many people never go higher than half way up the scale!

Awareness is key – for now, just become aware of where you are on that power dial when you want to get something done…

I plan to talk more and more about this, as once you realize that it IS possible to be dominant in your life and it doesn’t have to demoralize or disrespect those around you, it’s SO much easier to be in charge of how things happen in your life.

When you find that lovely, beautiful, make–it-happen push energy within yourself, you suddenly find that you have a new kind of control over your life.

It’s not about being controlling, but it IS about claiming what you want.

Anyway, stay tuned as this is going to be a theme over the next few months for many of the things that I talk about!

(This is part 1) Read part 1 in this series here.
Read part 2 in this series here.
Read part 3 in the series here.


7 replies
  1. Kelley
    Kelley says:

    Danielle thank u for bringing up the subject of using our power. I went to work today and sat in the parking lot crying almost unable to start my shift at a busy urgent care….of course I was feeling full of self pity. I felt i couldn’t do enough for my patients , couldn’t make administration happy with the amount of patient’s I see and hated the disrespect I felt I was receiving from the staff and nurses. I then realized I do have power. Because of my gifts and what I do, my patients heal…administrators have “something” to manage and the staff all have jobs because I see patients. So I started my shift and changed my approach and was very clear, direct and yet kind to all those I interacted with that day. My day went much more smoothly and I moved my self out of my victim mentality. Thank u again for approaching this topic….as owning our power and bringing this power from a place of love is something we face every day.

  2. Nella Coiro
    Nella Coiro says:

    Excellent topic, Danielle. I struggle with this balance and look forward to learning more about how to achieve this. Thanks.

  3. Janet Johnson
    Janet Johnson says:

    Thank you Danielle! I look forward to discovering and uncovering as yet unexperienced levels of inner power. Exploring levels of power in myself and learning how to negotiate the levels feels very exciting. I see an image of the tide coming in and going out and feel it has the potential to be as natural as that.

  4. Greg Evans
    Greg Evans says:

    I was in Virginia Beach last week and needed to simply get a contact lens, for my right eye. I had already put the left one in and didn’t want to wear my glasses of 20 years with scratches.

    The search for an optical shop, opthamolgist, or optometrist who would allow “complimentary dispensation” of a lens, (out-of-state) despite the fact that my prescription had expired on October 13th.

    The optical shop in Illinois refused to change the expiration date from 10/13 to 10/30, (it’s the law) and commented that I would have to have exam by an optometrist before I would be granted my request to get ONE single lens.
    $95.00 fee – for a prescription that hasn’t changed in 20 years, nope not happening. “Oh, look what just fell on the floor” ! That wasn’t going to happen either.

    Where is the courtesy between two optical shops or optometrists ? Nowhere…

    So I did what most people wouldn’t do.
    I texted the optometrist ANYWAY and called the office requesting this exception.

    It didn’t make sense. This federal law, (prescription lapse) 14 days, what about a 30 day extension ???
    And trial samples ?

    And I was at a Wal Mart optical shop, the optometrist was off (what optical shop doesn’t have a optometrist available on a day [Saturday] where people are more likely to shop for all things)?

    Never raising my voice, I questioned the intelligiblity of the staff, their rules, level of service to their clients out of town guest and finally, re-stated the obvious, question “Do you think that I should be driving around with “one contact lens”, does this make any sense to you ?

    I left Wal Mart with a supply of daily lenses for both eyes for 90 days and saved myself $58.00. I will still see my optometrist before the next 90 days in Illinois, but will nit purchase my lenses from his shop.

    Federal regulations for optical care?

    Challenging the intelligence of others is not simply prudent judgement in principle but a necessicity. Sense and Sensibility – a common denominator.


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