Unhappy Friendship: Is Bright Shiny Object Syndrome Making You Feel Badly?

Selfish?On my recent trip to the West Coast, I met an interesting and very lively man at breakfast who laughingly talked about what he called BSOS. And wow! I finally have a name for this crazy behavior I’ve been dealing with lately!

First, let me explain what Bright Shiny Object Syndrome is. Imagine you meet a person and immediately you are put off by them – or for no apparent reason you don’t feel trusting of them or perhaps you think they are putting themselves out to the world in an in-congruent way. However, because this person has a bright smile or impressive credentials or a great way of putting things – you decide to let him or her into your life anyway because this person (or this experience) promises you something amazing when you reach the end of the rainbow.

That is Bright Shiny Object Syndrome. Oh dear right?!

This has happened to me plenty of times in my life – I ignore that initial intuitive hit that says, “hey, don’t go there!” and I go there because I want what is being offered sometime in the future.

I had one friend many years ago who was so much fun to be around – we went out places together, made other friends, had new experiences together and it was so exciting! Until I started to realize that all of the things that we were doing together were her choice – and that when I had a need, it was often superseded by her desires – no matter what I said. But all of the fun and excitement was so enticing and I knew that if I stay in the unhappy friendship we could have more and more fun! I ended up remaining in that friendship for several years before I realized it wasn’t meeting my needs and the idea of having fun wasn’t worth not being able to be an equal partner in the relationship.

I also worked a job at a startup company when I was younger where we were always just on the brink of having an Initial Public Offering… where the company told us that each person at my level stood to make millions of dollars – so the work and the low pay were really very worthwhile. It wasn’t until years after I finally realized the potential money was not worth the unhappiness at the job if the company finally went public.

The thing is, I knew in the back of my mind – during every bout of BSOS that something was amiss. Once I finally pulled those feelings from the back of my head to the front of my mind, things got better. I took action. I made changes. And I finally saw all that I had around me NOW – rather than hopefully at some point in the future.

Are you falling for BSOS anywhere in your life right now? Here is a list of a few of the most obvious signs that BSOS is a part of your life:

  1. You kind of feel like something/someone is not all they’re cracked up to be
  2. You’re pushing your needs aside because you (hope) what is coming soon will make it all worth it
  3. You keep telling yourself, “don’t worry about it – it’s going to happen”
  4. You are expecting someone/something to change to make it all happen

I could go on – but you get the picture.

For me, I’m going to start looking for any other BSOS’s going on in my life – and then, I’m going to take action around those.

What will happen when you do the same? Will you finally trust yourself? Will you finally start to have faith in the Universe? You will allow yourself to blossom? All of these things are what are happening to me, now that I’ve eliminated my biggest BSOS. What about you?


Danielle MacKinnon is an Intuitive, Coach and Animal Intuitive. Follow her on Twitter here: @intuitivedm or on Facebook here:

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