It’s resolution time but is that really the right way to go? For New Year’s Resolutions, most people promise themselves and their loved ones everything from eating better and losing weight to quitting smoking to being less judgmental. Actually, in my line of work – I get to hear about ALL the resolutions (stop squeezing zits – that was an odd one!) but I also get to see the results of these “resolutions.” I’ve found that most people indulge themselves in their “bad” habit mercilessly just before New Year’s. For example – for those trying to get off sugar, you’ll find them at the dessert table, hands and mouths full, just before the clock strikes 12. Or for those who are quitting smoking – the night is an endless evening of butt, ash and smoke… And then, once both of the hands on the clock are pointing toward midnight, they shove all of that “bad” away and try to change it all right then and right there – just by ignoring it or forcing it!
“You can’t change the outcome if you keep thinking the same way you’ve always thought.”
What I’ve seen to be the most successful way to make change is more on the pattern behind the behavior you want to change. As many of you know, in my work I facilitate this by helping people identify the soul contract that is attaching them to a behavior – and then helping them release it – but you don’t have to have your own personal Danielle to figure it out. Actually, all you have to do is pause and ask yourself “why?” when the behavior or the desire for the behavior comes up. For example – when I go out of balance, I have a “thing” for sugar. Just before Thanksgiving one year, I found myself in the cookie aisle searching for Oreo and Milano cookies. Before buying the cookies (which I don’t even eat – I’m vegan and those cookies are certainly not) I stopped and asked myself “WHY do I want these cookies right now? I don’t even eat them anymore!” The answer I got was that as a child my family always had these two cookies readily available every holiday – so I had come to associate them with the feeling of “homey” and “comfort.” By identifying this in myself, I was then able to refrain from buying the cookies – as I had plenty of other things in my life that could create that feeling. The thing is: it didn’t take a New Year’s resolution – it just took my looking at myself and understanding the WHY behind my choices.
So this year (2011) instead of making a resolution based on a date – why not just start watching (and questioning) your behavior? As so many of you have heard me say – when you go into “Observation Mode” with yourself – you can come to an understanding of who you are that will push you further ahead than any rule or restriction on yourself ever could!