It’s a Monday morning and here I am! I’ve been dealing with a cold for the past week, so I decided to take care of myself by taking a break from writing these emails this weekend.
It was so weird not to be emailing you.
However, it was also exactly what my mind and my body needed – a full stop break!
I can’t say I liked it though. I felt like something was missing, but I knew I needed to do it.
And that’s the thing – sometimes, taking care of yourself is uncomfortable. Putting boundaries in place can be challenging if you’re doing it in an area where your environment doesn’t expect it.
And by environment I mean the people around you, of course, but I also mean the things, the energies, the occurrences around you.
I think, at this point, most of us realize that when we say, “no” (whether kindly or not) to someone who’s very used to us saying, “yes” that that person will become upset, disappointed, or enraged.
But do you realize this also happens with your environment?
When you finally say, “Working 70 hours a week is insane. I’m going to take it down to 50 this week!” yet, the energy in your life is still programmed for 70 hours of work, you can bet that some emergency, some huge project is going to come up to demand that you go back to the 70.
That’s why sometimes, sticking with what is right for YOU can be really, really hard. It can make you feel like you’re a jerk, like you’re selfish, like you’re uncaring…
and yet, if you don’t do what is right for you, how will anyone else know what’s right for you and be able to support you in that?
In many areas of my life, I’m great with boundaries. With my work, with my husband, with my son, with standing in line at the grocery store…
But there are a couple other areas that really still give me trouble. In fact, just this morning I was slammed with an email from someone who didn’t like my, “no.”
Yes! Even with all I’ve learned and taught about this over the years, I do struggle here too!
This is because the negative belief I’ve been dealing with (ie Seed Thought if you read my book Soul Contracts) hasn’t been 100% shifted from “I’m not enough” to “I am totally awesome!”
So, when the holidays roll around and this/that/and the other thing are being asked of me, that small percentage left of the ol’ “I’m not enough” starts getting activated when it’s time for me to stand up for myself.
What to do?
Well, first, I’m embracing this as a learning opportunity. This is my chance to change even more of of “I’m not enough” to “I am great!”
So second, rather than being angry about my situation – I’m putting my work boots on and getting ready to dig in.
And third – what does dig in mean? It means OBSERVING myself. Becoming a conscious witness to my tendencies. Noticing when I am empowering my negative belief by letting it run the show – and noticing when I don’t, but not trying to change that.
Yes, that’s right! I’m not going to try and change this whole thing – I’m just going to watch and understand.
Understanding that negative belief and it’s hold on me (or lack thereof) is just SOOOOO powerful. In fact, the more I understand, the less power it has, the less it runs the show (without me even trying)!
And I love watching the power of my negative beliefs wane… as the power of my belief in myself grows stronger.
It just feels so good. And so much better than letting negative beliefs run ruffshod.* (Is that the word I mean here? Ruff shop? Hopefully you know what I mean!!)
Are you going to start observing yourself? Have you been slammed yourself recently? Looking for a little support? Share below to see that you are not alone!
Love and Light,
PS: I’ve got more balance – if you’re looking for it!
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