Soul Contracts are not about the connection between two people
Soul Contract. Everyone wants to know about the Soul Contract with their partner, parents, or friend. Why? Because many of us believe that when we understand the soul contract in a relationship, we’ll finally have the “fix” and the relationship will become perfect.
However, the Soul Contracts we experience are only reflected onto our relationships – they are not actually between the two people. Soul Contracts are more about the connection you have to… yourself! As I talk about them in my Soul Contracts book, these sneaky agreements we make with ourselves can secretly prevent us from success in marriage, finance, business, money, love, home, and everywhere else. When a Soul Contract is involved, many of us become very confused and disheartened.
If you feel stuck in a rut, a Soul Contract may be the culprit.
Here are five common, yet hidden, Soul Contracts. (Read more Soul Contracts book for a more in depth explanation.)
Perhaps you recognize some of these within yourself? Perhaps it’s time to take some action (I’ll show you how to do that below as well!).
Soul Contract of Martyrdom
Do you find that saying yes is a lot easier than saying no? Do you put your own needs and wants aside in order to assists others even when this isn’t in your best interest? Maybe you feel like you’re a better person if you sacrifice yourself to make someone else happy? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you’re probably feeling pretty frustrated, tired, and unappreciated.
Those of us with a Soul Contract of Martyrdom are also driven by our desire to avoid ever being called selfish. The basis of many of our decisions is often to ensure we are not selfish. This is how the Martyrdom Soul Contract often manifests… and it’s not pretty. Luckily, once you’ve learned the lesson within this Soul Contract, you’ll still be able to help people – it just won’t come from this desperate, proving place within.
Soul Contract of Loyalty
Do you stand by those in your life, regardless of how they treat you? Have you ever said to yourself, “Yes, he’s rude and angry but family is family,” or “I have no choice, she’s my boss”? You know a Soul Contract of Loyalty is at play when you find yourself in situations where friends, family, loved ones, children, or bosses are walking over you, and yet you’re continuing to make excuses for them. You may feel helpless or trapped when considering changing or leaving the relationship because you don’t want to abandon the other person.
When a Soul Contract of this nature is finally mastered, your relationships will shift so that you’re surrounded by those who give and receive with you. Even if you’ve struggled with for years to leave your husband or quit your job, the changes begin to manifest without effort. The “hold” that those people have over you is gone.
Soul Contract of Loneliness
Have you been seeking your Soul-Mate only to have each relationship result in failure, dis-ease, sadness and heartbreak? Have you tried blind dates, online dating, or settling for someone who isn’t “it”? While there are many different contracts that could be standing in the way of finding love, the Soul Contract of Loneliness can be one of the most difficult to handle. When your soul is locked in to this type of agreement, even when you’ve found someone wonderful – you still feel alone, separate, and unsupported. Master this contract and you’re finally able to “feel” the support and love that is already out there and you’ll easily attract more of it.
Soul Contract of Anxiety
If you feel anxious, nervous, or worried so often that this seems normal, you may have taken a Soul Contract of Anxiety. Do you wait for the other shoe to drop? When money is coming in, do you tell yourself not to rely on it because it will soon be going away? When one worry ends, do you quickly replace it with another? These experiences may appear to be human nature, but they are not. In many cases, the experience is related to a Soul Contract of Anxiety – designed to help you get through life using anxiety as a form of hyper vigilance.
Why would you ever make such a soul level commitment? Perhaps you felt that your anxiety would heighten your awareness so miss anything hurtful again? Filtering life through a blanket of anxiety is not fun for you (obviously) or for the people around you. When you master the lesson behind this soul contracts, you’ll find that you are more able to be in touch with your intuition, which will alleviate your need for the hyper vigilance. Want assistance managing the Soul Contract of Anxiety? Try my Heart Magnet tool here.
Soul Contract: Don’t Rock the Boat
Are you afraid to march to your own drummer? Does rocking the boat or breaking the rules feel upsetting to you? Are you worried someone might see you reading this website because the information is so “out there?” This is a very common Soul Contract for protection. By standing in the background and blending in, you run less risk of being ostracized, penalized or pointed out. While this might have seemed like a good idea when you first agreed to the contract, for most adults, this contract isn’t a good idea anymore. This type of contract makes it difficult to build a business, become an expert, write a book, find your voice, and be a true partner in a relationship because you must stand out in order to do these things!
When you master the lesson in this Soul Contract, life opens up. So much of what each person has come here to do is dependent on being able to blaze their own path. When you finally master this soul-level agreement, it’s like “ta-da!”, the lights turn on, your work is highlighted and things move forward.
How to Get Started Releasing & Clearing These Contracts
So, what do you do if you realize that you have a Soul Contract creating havoc in your life? How can you master it? For in-depth, step-by-step instructions, check out my Soul Contracts book . But to give you a quick start you can follow these tips!
The Set Up
Begin by working on your energy management! When you manage your energy, you put yourself in a better headspace to make decisions for your greatest and highest good. You can use any tool or technique to help you feel more calm or more peaceful. For example The Heart Magnet Technique takes only 20-seconds and sets up a great foundation for understanding and releasing your Soul Contracts!
Step 1: Understanding
First, you have to realize that you can’t BREAK a Soul Contract. It doesn’t work that way. You first must do the work to understand how this agreement has both served and hindered you. It’s like… your understanding is loosening the tooth so that it can be pulled.
Step 2: Awareness
Your second step is awareness. Spend time witnessing the Soul Contract and understanding how it’s been rearing its ugly head in your life. For example, if martyrdom is the issue, notice when you’re giving up your own needs for those of another person. You’ll start to see patterns in your behavior, and as they emerge, it will become easier and easier for you recognize those times when you tend to sacrifice for others. This takes some time, so don’t expect to get it perfectly right away.
Step 3: Clarity in Choice
After you’ve mastered the awareness portion, a new piece will emerge: a moment of clarity. If you normally say, “Yes! I’ll take your Grandma to the grocery store on Sunday so you can stay in and watch football” you’ll now find that there is a small pause just before you give your answer. Within that pause you have created an opportunity: “Do I want to follow the same pattern or do I want to make a different decision this time?” Sometimes you will make the same decision and you will see the same results – but the more aware you are, the more you’ll be able to make a healthier choice.
Step 4. Master and Release
Once you feel you’ve really got a handle on this contract, you understand where it shows up and how it’s affecting your life. After you’ve been working on making some different decisions, you can speed up and deepen the release by writing about it (automatic writing can be very effective) or by reading my Soul Contracts book.
There is no right or wrong decision here – only what works. It’s a process – a process of realizing the Soul Contract is there, becoming aware of the pattern and how it shows up in your life, and then taking action steps to finally release it from your life. It’s one of the most empowering things you can do as a human!
More Soul Contracts tools for you
- Did you know you also have contracts with the animals in your life? Read Animal Lessons to learn all about how your pet is helping you heal!
- Learn the different types of Soul Contracts before and after embodiment
- Watch the What is a Soul Contract video
Danielle MacKinnon has been named an expert TV psychic medium, intuitive, animal communicator, and foremost expert on soul contracts. She has appeared on numerous radio shows, tv and taught along side some of the world’s most renowned psychics, mediums, healers and TV experts.
