A Soul Contract is not the connection between people for growth, transformation, and unconditional love.
Soul Contract. Everyone wants to know what the Soul Contract is with their partner, brother, mother, best friend… They think that once they know this, they’ll be able to have a great relationship.
Unfortunately, Soul Contract more often act as painful blocks that stop people from being able to achieve their dream marriage, or have business success. When a Soul Contract is blocking the way, it’s disheartening and confusing.
If you’ve tried everything you can think of to achieve your dream, and nothing has worked, a Soul Contract may be the culprit.
Here are five common, yet hidden, Soul Contracts. (For a more complete list, read my Soul Contracts book.) Perhaps you recognize some of these within yourself? Perhaps it’s time to take some action (I’ll show you how to do that below as well!).
Soul Contract Number 5: Soul Contract of Martyrdom
Do you find that it’s a lot easier to say “yes” than it is to say “no”? Do you put your own needs or desires aside to help other people (or animals) even when it’s not so good for you? Maybe you feel like you’re a better person if you sacrifice yourself to make someone else happy? If you answered yes to any of these, you’re probably feeling pretty frustrated with your life, feeling that others don’t appreciate you and tired.
You may also feel that being called “selfish” is the worst type of insult. And you probably make decisions to ensure that no one can ever apply that label to you. This is how the Martyrdom Soul Contract often manifests… and it’s not pretty. Once you’ve mastered this soul-level agreement, it won’t mean you’ll never help another person. You’ll simply make better decisions about who to help and when.
Soul Contract Number 4: Soul Contract of Loyalty
Do you stand by your friend, partner, parent, boss no matter how they treat you? Have you ever said, “Yes, he’s mean but family is family” or “I have no choice, she’s my boss”? The Loyalty Soul Contract helps you create a situation in which you are walked over by those you love. You may feel helpless or trapped when considering changing or leaving the relationship because you don’t want to abandon the other person.
When a Soul Contract of this nature is finally mastered, you’re able to make changes in your relationships. Even if you’ve struggled with for years to leave your husband or quit your job, the changes finally happen. The “hold” that those people have over you is gone!
Soul Contract Number 3: Soul Contract of Loneliness
Have you been looking for your Soul-Mate throughout your life only to have one relationship after another result in failure, dis-ease, sadness and heartbreak? Have you tried blind dates, online dating, or settling for someone who isn’t “it”? While there are many different contracts that could be standing in the way of finding love, the Soul Contract of Loneliness can be one of the most difficult to handle. When your soul is adhering to this type of agreement, even when you’ve found someone wonderful – you still feel alone, separate and unsupported. Master this contract and you’re finally able to “feel” the support and love that is out there. WITH this contract, it’s like it doesn’t exist (even though it often already does).
Soul Contract Number 2: Soul Contract of Anxiety
If you’re someone who always feels anxious, nervous or worried, you may have a Soul Contract of Anxiety. Do you wait for the other shoe to drop? When money is coming in, do you count the days until “you know” it will go out again? When one ends, do you quickly replace it with another worry? You may be thinking this is normal human nature, but it isn’t! In many cases, it’s a contract that you took out some time in a past life that your soul still believes is valid.
Why would you ever make such a soul level commitment? Perhaps you felt that your anxiety would heighten your awareness so miss anything hurtful again? (I’ve found with my clients that this is a common reason.) Filtering life through a blanket of anxiety is not fun for you (obviously) or for the people around you. When you master this, you’ll find that you are more able to be in touch with your intuition, which will alleviate your need for the hyper-vigilance.
Soul Contract Number 1: Soul Contract: Rocking the Boat
Are you afraid to be seen as marching to your own drummer? Someone who doesn’t break rules or rock the boat? Who doesn’t even want others to know you’re reading this website? This is a very common Soul Contract for protection. By standing in the background and blending in, you run less risk of being ostracized, penalized or pointed out. While this might have seemed like a good idea during some part part of your life, it isn’t anymore. This type of contract makes it difficult to build a business, become an expert, write a book, and more because you must stand out in order to do these things!
When you master this Soul Contract, life opens up. So much of what each person has come here to do is dependent on being able to blaze their own path. When you finally master this soul-level agreement, it’s like “ta-da!”, the lights turn on, your work is highlighted and things move forward.
How to Get Started Releasing & Clearing These Contracts
So, what do you do if you realize that you have aSoul Contract creating havoc in your life? How can you master it? For step-by-step instructions, check out my book, Soul Contracts: Find Harmony and Unlock Your Brilliance. But to give you a quick start you can follow these tips!
Step 1: Understanding
First, you have to realize that you can’t just break a Soul Contract. It doesn’t work that way. You first must do the work to understand how this agreement has both served and hindered you. It’s like… your understanding is loosening the tooth so that it can be pulled.
Step 2: Awareness
Your second step is awareness. Spend time witnessing the Soul Contract and understanding how it’s been rearing its ugly head in your life. For example, if martyrdom is the issue, notice when you’re giving up your own needs for those of another person. You’ll start to see patterns in your behavior, and as they emerge, it will become easier and easier for you recognize those times when you tend to sacrifice for others. This takes some time, so don’t expect to get it perfectly right away.
Step 3: Clarity in Choice
After you’ve mastered the awareness portion, a new piece will emerge: the awareness of the contract will bring about a moment of clarity. If you normally say, “Yes! I’ll take your Grandma to the grocery store on Sunday so you can stay in and watch football” you’ll now find that there is a small pause just before you give your answer. Within that pause you have created an opportunity: “Do I want to follow the same pattern or do I want to make a different decision this time?” Sometimes you will make the same decision and you will see the same results – but the more aware you are, the more you’ll be able to make a healthier choice.
Step 4. Master and Release
Once you feel you’ve really got a handle on this contract, you understand where it shows up and how it’s affecting your life. After you’ve been working on making some different decisions, you can speed up and deepen the release by writing about it (automatic writing can be very effective) or by reading my Soul Contracts book.
There is no right or wrong decision here – only what works. It’s a process – a process of realizing the Soul Contract is there, becoming aware of the pattern and how it shows up in your life, and then taking action steps to finally release it from your life. It’s one of the most empowering things you can do as a human!
Danielle MacKinnon has been named an expert TV psychic medium, intuitive, animal communicator, and foremost expert on soul contracts. She has appeared on numerous radio shows, tv and taught along side some of the world’s most renowned psychics, mediums, healers and TV experts.