Soul Contracts That Bit Me…

I’m naive. I am. It’s hard for me to believe bad things that people have said – even when I hear them from various sources. If someone is nice to my face, complimenting me, having a positive conversation with me about my kid or their new car, I assume that they’re really nice and that whatever the negative things I’ve “heard” they’ve said behind my back are all made up, or exaggerated. I guess this is because of how I am. I’ve worked hard to bring myself to an emotional place where my inside matches my outside. What I feel is what I show. It means that people can depend on me to be honest – although often to a fault (according to my husband) If I feel it, you know it. If I think it, you hear it. That’s just me.

Not everyone is so naive and not everyone is so honest. And this is what my husband and I experienced this past week. My husband, Kevin is one of those very active Dads. When my son plays a sport, Kevin usually tries to coach the team – and he puts his all into it. When my son wants to learn a new activity, my husband is right there with him showing him how to do it.  For example, Cole (my son) wanted to learn skateboarding, so my husband starting teaching him everything he knew. They now skateboard down the street and at skate parks all the time together. (And yes, Kevin is the old guy skateboarding, but he doesn’t mind). Kevin is one of those “do it all for the kids” kinds of Dads and that’s something I really admire about him. By the way, he’s also an engineer – so he’s very detail oriented and conscientious in anything that he does with Cole (sometimes to a fault as well!)

Cut to the present when Kevin is volunteer coaching my son’s hockey team. He’s been devoting about 15 hours a week into it, on top of his regular job. He loves coaching, he loves watching the kids develop and he has an attachment to every last kid on the team. He knows these boys so well – he can tell you if someone didn’t get enough sleep, is going to have the game of his life or isn’t grounded (my son’s problem) before a game even begins. The problem is that kids are involved. And with kids come parents.

Last week, Kevin and his assistant coach had a meeting with one of the parents of a boy on the team. The coaches wanted to make sure everyone was on the same page. As it turned out, everyone was not on the same page and the parent launched a personal attack against Kevin three inches from his face. This father spit as many personal and coaching insults as he could think of at Kevin, the rest of the coaches and the other boys on the team. With his voice raised, his face red and sweaty this father really lost his cool (although based on this, I’m not sure he ever had the cool). The assistant coach, a great peacemaker, struggled to calm the father down and get him to back away from Kevin who thankfully, did not rise to meet the challenge and remained perfectly calm. Finally, Kevin ended the meeting saying “This isn’t getting us anywhere. Perhaps we should talk again when you’re calmer.” The take away point was that this father wanted his son to play a different position and that was how he chose to express that thought.

Here’s the thing: Kevin and I were both blown away by this father’s behavior and attack. This man’s wife has been very nice to me and to Kevin throughout the season and yet as it turned out, she was completely in line with what her husband had said about Kevin both as a coach and as person. And here’s where my naivety comes in. I had heard through the good ol’ town grapevine that the wife had said these exact same things, but since she was so nice to me during games and when I saw her on the street, I passed it off as town gossip. Which it clearly was not.

For Kevin, this was a difficult lesson to learn. He wants to make all of the kids AND the parents happy while also helping the kids grow their hockey skills and have fun. Over the weeks prior this blow up, Kevin and the other coaches has spent hours and countless emails putting the kids into positions they thought would be best of the team as well as for the individual play. A hard task with 18 kids! Not having this plan valued – and in fact, watching it get attacked was very difficult for Kevin but more importantly, knowing that his plan was the catalyst for someone going into that much anger was worse. In order for Kevin to come through this experience and master it, he’s going to have to become accepting of the idea that he can’t please everyone. Difficult to swallow, but he’s working on even as we speak.

Unlike Kevin, I’m not so concerned with making everyone happy. If you’re not happy with me, you’re not happy with me. We’re not a match. So be it. My lesson in this situation was different because I’m psychic. And I didn’t use my intuitive abilities to even glance at the situation. I heard the horrible things the mother had been saying about the kids on the team, the coaches and the team itself – from several different sources and yet, I chose to ignore it because in person, this mother is nice to me. Instead of ignoring it – a “check-in” would have been a better step. I could have taken just a moment to “feel” out the gossip (Is this true? Did this mother really say these things?) and get prepared if necessary. The problem is that I often tend to separate my time as a hockey mom from my time as an intuitive. On the one hand, it’s never fun to watch a game and know who is going to win before it starts (this was a problem during the Stanley Cup Finals last year-just ask my husband who wanted to shoot me). On the other hand, I have to allow my abilities to part of every aspect of my life (just like I teach all of you!) Including hockey. Including hockey mom. For me, this was a reminder to be me, everywhere.

The Want to Please Everyone Soul Contract and the Separate Psychic Times from Real Life Soul Contract are very common among Lightworkers. I’m hoping that through this blog post you can find those places in your life where a Soul Contract has been activated within you and then try to master the lesson from it. Dealing with Soul Contracts and lessons is not always easy (as you can see here), but it does pay off. Both Kevin and I are happier because of what we have gained from this experience (but it took a few days to get the perspective!)

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Danielle MacKinnon has been named an expert TV psychic medium, intuitive, animal communicator, and foremost expert on soul contracts. She has appeared on numerous radio shows, tv and taught along side some of the world’s most renowned psychics, mediums, healers and TV experts.

15 replies
  1. Michele Domingo
    Michele Domingo says:

    Hey Danielle,

    I just ready your story and I have to share my thoughts with you on this. My daughter is now 20, but during her youth, through her teens, I found that my intuition kicked in with her when it most mattered. To the point that she was annoyed with me for “knowing” too much. However, I do believe that there were many times when I didn’t understand what was going on and being so close to her it made it a little bit more difficult to discern intuition from motherly concern. I think it needs to be turned off some time for “recharging”!

    After reading your story, I think both you and your husband handled things perfectly. You can’t change others behaviors or control the outcome of all situations, only your reactions. I do realize I am “preaching to the choir” here but cut yourself and your husband some slack. You chose to think the BEST about someone…that is a GOOD thing.

    Kudos to BOTH of you and thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  2. Christy
    Christy says:

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR POSTING THIS! So funny that it just came in at this time! I am having a very similar situation with our HOA President who just tried to use me as a scape goat to align himself with a group that he had said he was trying to remove from our community (hunters). I did call him to find out why he did that and to let him know that if he wanted to coordinate something and consult with me, I might be receptive. He immediately went on the defensive. In my mind, I said my peace, got him to understand and admit he had crossed a line, but he is still acting a little odd, which leads me to believe he’s still up to something, or feeling very guilty for being caught. All I want is to help make the community a safer place. Like you, what you see is what you get, inside and outside, but I’m afraid there are not that many people like that – especially where we live currently. Your blog post had perfect timing! Thank You!

    Reply
  3. Karen
    Karen says:

    If somenoe lies to you, trust that they will always lie to you. I’ve been an over-trusting person, always giving people multiple chances, thinking that this time they will be different, not realizing that I’ve trained them to abuse me. IF you want everyone to get along, you will keep sacrificing something and someone. Be kind and helpful, take care of your family, and let others be themselves.

    Reply
  4. jeanne
    jeanne says:

    Hi Danielle, I can relate to your hockey situation very well. My husband also has coached my sons teams and the relationships with other parents were odd. I guess I always could feel which were not true to their niceness. I really think when there is a community already in place there is not room for an outsider. Though my husbands teams always had rocky seasons, on the end they won their championships. My husband experienced the same rath regarding placement of kids and his style of coaching in general. My husband always believes it about learning all aspects of the sport that’s important, not just or always the win. Unfortunately most hockey parents just want what they want and instill that attitude in the kids and in other parents. Learning to work as a team, to depend on each other, to learn new skills, to learn punctuality and responsibility and positions at their young age is so important.
    As parents we learned some hard and disappointing lessons. Your right that you cannot pease everyone. We believe that if we continue to do what we believe is right and do our best, we will stay healthy and be an,e to separate from the negativity. Think of raising your kids, not living through them.

    Reply
  5. Jocelyne
    Jocelyne says:

    Bonjour Danielle!

    I have the same tendency… Being naive and trusting too much everyone around. So many dispappointments with this pure attitude!

    So, my way of facing this issue is repeating 5 to 10 times daily: “What others think of me is NONE OF MY BUSINESS. My business is being the best that I can be and knowing it inside out.” Then I can feel that PEACE we “trusting people” need so much.

    Doing meditation & yoga has helped me a lot with this issue. Now, I listen to my inner voice much more than I used to.

    Best of luck to you and Kevin!

    Jocelyne

    Reply
  6. Debra
    Debra says:

    Unfortunately, you have entered in the challenging world of children’s team sports. My husband used to coach little league baseball. Since he wasn’t “in” with the people that ran the league, he was given all the boys that never played baseball. He approached it as lets have fun and everyone plays equally. He kept records of how much each child played, so that it was always fair. He spent a lot of time teaching these children the basic fundamentals of baseball. He used to joke that some of the parents barely stopped the car to drop the kids off for practice and then often were either late to pick them up or never showed up (in which case, he would take them home). Still, these same parents complained that their children weren’t playing enough or spouted comments about what they perceived as my husband’s shortcomings. My husband was good enough to let everything roll off his back and enjoyed interacting with the kids. I decided to watch the games from my car, so that I didn’t have to be stressed by their constant comments.

    What a shame that what should be a fun learning experience for a child is ruined by some of the adults. Parents forget what team sports are suppose to be teaching our children about being a team player and sportsmanship. And, did the kids have fun?!?

    One has to remember that the other person’s issues only become your issues, if you let them.

    Reply
  7. david
    david says:

    Well done Danielle!
    It sucks when someone takes out their misguided anger on you, but I’m glad that you and Kevin managed to let it roll off. Not having been there, it seems to me that this couple is clearly unhappy with some other aspect of their lives, and it really has nothing to do with you. If these parents felt so passionate about the team, then why don’t they volunteer and coach them?

    Reply
  8. Susan
    Susan says:

    Isn’t trusting the law of the universe, god, spirit, whatever you want to call it the true lesson here. If the law or goodness is in the center of your life….it doesn’t matter what others say or think or do. The law is love, and it will always protect you. Also, It is a law that whatever actions people take will have an effect on them…whatever they are saying about you, sadly, they are saying about themselves. And they will bring there own hell upon them. There own wrath.

    It is important to chant or pray for these people’s happiness. Don’t you agree? And know and learn your boundaries. I have been blessed with my husband’s x-wife who is truly the most slanderous and deluded person I know. I understand she is a very unhappy person….and destructive. I pray for her. Even the Buddha on his death bed was obsessed and concerned with one of the country’s most evil man. His disciples could not understand why he kept speaking of him and focusing on him. The Buddha told his disciples that if a parent has several children…he will be most concerned for the one who is sick…meaning the evil person…as this man can do quite a bit of damage in the world.

    Just my point of view…thats all 🙂

    Susan

    Reply
  9. JoAnn
    JoAnn says:

    As a mom to an 11 yr. old little league player, I do see this type of angry confrontation from parents with coaches once in awhile. I don’t know why they feel it’s OK to spew their anger in destructive ways… Kudos to your husband for remaining calm and not reactive! Your story has alot of lessons to learn from. For me it evokes the issue about sports and our culture: how parents — men especially — take sports and OVER-IDENTIFY with it… To the point where they: cross boundaries, act immature, take things personally, show disrespect to coaches, have meltdowns, and on and on… Just look how the Penn State sexual abuse scandal is unfolding these past few months. Sports have “engulfed” and distorted our culture’s ability to see the truth and stand up for what’s right instead of “winning at any cost.” For me, it’s also a lesson about speaking your truth with kindness and respect, even if you have anger inside. Thanks for sharing this with us.

    Reply
  10. danielle
    danielle says:

    You guys are so kind with your supportive comments! And yes, I totally agree – there are MANY different things to learn from the situation. I’m glad you all are getting something out of it as well. -danielle

    Reply
  11. Mary Landenberger
    Mary Landenberger says:

    Great thoughts, Danielle. I have found that being a parent made me and my husband face our childhood fears and battles, again. Sometimes with the same perspective, sometimes different or opposite. Interesting stuff.

    Reply
  12. Sharon Smith
    Sharon Smith says:

    It’s a game….for kids…and it’s supposed to be fun. They grow up fast and we parents love to watch them “do their stuff”–whatever it may be. Enjoy watching and coaching Cole and his team. Ours are in high school now and still playing everything. Ignore the parents who get too wound up over the sports thing. We have found these folks to be largely unhappy in most areas of their lives. It’s just their path–our job is to stay on ours.

    Reply
  13. Chris Bertison
    Chris Bertison says:

    WOW! There were a few different things going on here. First, never try to turn off your intuitive gift. Just be practical in what you voice to others. Second, if you’re the type of person that seems to be trusting ‘to a fault’, ask yourself if that’s your opinion or someone else’s. Naivety could be harmful in business transactions, but you don’t want to become skeptical of everything you hear, nor do you want to give energy to gossip. Constant skepticism breeds negativity, and we all know the pitfalls of negative energy. Third, it’s my experience that loud parents of young athletes are attempting to live/relive their life through their children…send them to the Penalty Box! Namaste

    Reply

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