I’m not good enough rears it’s ugly head

a woman with a color shit hold captive

Are you trapped by a negative belief about yourself?

Oh dear you guys! I’ve been stressing all week because I didn’t know what I wanted to write about. I tried writing about waking up on the wrong side of the bed, getting my headshots done and even about eating – but nothing felt right. Then, just a few minutes ago as I was driving my son to his A Capella practice, I heard myself say, “Boy, I really suck at this” in relation to writing blog posts.

And I realized, the remnants of an old negative belief about myself were showing up to be understood, learned, and finally released.

For many years I was trapped by the untrue belief that I wasn’t good enough. I developed this belief about myself in my very early years due to my childhood circumstances.

But being the take-charge person that I am, I subsequently developed quite a few work arounds that would allow me to avoid experiencing not feeling good enough.

The workarounds were things like being the best at whatever I chose to do, not allowing people to see the REAL me, and even (and this is the one that was just showing up in the car a few minutes ago), doing everything perfectly and without struggle.

I’ve spent quite a bit of time changing that erroneous belief about myself over the years. And increment by increment I’ve brought the percentage that I’m aligned with the belief that I’m not good enough down from 100% all the way to a 3%.

But that 3% negative belief showed up today in a big way…

And in the end, I’m really glad it did. I want to shift that last 3%. I may do this in this life – or another lifetime, but I’m pretty excited to finally let it go.

So, how am I handling that 3% today? By allowing myself with all of my imperfections to be seen. By aligning with the 97% of me that KNOWS how wonderful I am and sharing my story of worry over a blog post with you all. And it’s feel great! In fact, I just wrote this blog post in 3 minutes flat!

Many people struggle with the Seed Thought (negative, erroneous belief) that they aren’t good enough. How to start changing that belief? Just begin developing an awareness of when “I’m not good enough” is showing up in your life. It’s really skilled at hiding, and making you think it’s just a normal part of being alive.

But you know what? “I’m not good enough” does not have to be a normal part of you thought process either! It’s about awareness, awareness, awareness!

9 replies
  1. Teresa
    Teresa says:

    Thank you so much for verbalizing the thoughts that I’m certain so many of us have running in the background of our daily lives! Just having it out in the open and confirmed by another person makes it a little easier for me to embrace and deal with on my own part. I’ll continue to work on bringing my negative belief down to 0% and the positive realizations up from 95% to 100%. We’re all in this together and I so appreciate the support and encouragement! Bless you!

    Reply
  2. Anne Nipp
    Anne Nipp says:

    It is GREAT to hear that ohters struggle with feelings of inadequacy —– an ugly demon that requires management. Thanks for sharing with all of us!!

    Reply
  3. Sandy
    Sandy says:

    Yup that’s me all the time! Although there are some things that when I am doing them I feel pretty adequate. So maybe not all the time anymorE. It definitely started in my childhood being the “worser” child of two (my cousin was the cherub), being bullied throughout school here and even back in my own country. But the biggest turning point happened when I decided to look into myself and see if anything I was doing was prolonging or attracting these types of negativity and ultimately most unpleasantness went away overnight! Now I just have to deal with believing that there is a place in this world for me to succeed in all endeavors that I have chosen to be passionate about. To believe that if others can be champions at them, then so can I too. Standing up for myself at work is the hardest. But this year many events have helped me look and things more clearly about staying true with my intuition!! To be firm with others when they try to knock me off my happy pillar. Thank you for this blog, and you absolutely rock, not suck!!

    Reply
  4. Sue
    Sue says:

    Thank you for writing this. The last month have been rough for me and my stinking thinking not good enough has been popping up. It shows up by not allowing me to move forward in my new career path, thinking I should go back to social work. My dogs acting up as they pick up on my energy. Me blaming my husband and kids for not helping out enough that’s why I can’t do my work. So tommorow is a new day and it will be better.

    Reply
  5. Donna O.
    Donna O. says:

    Oh my goodness! I think we all lack self confidence growing up as gangly kids w pimples. But, as adults, if you walk in a room w 100 people in it, some of those people have Adult ADD, some are awesome cooks, some are awesome skiers or runners or business operators. Some take care of kids better than others. Some are tall, some are short. How boring would it be if we were all identical! We would be robots & would have nothing unique to talk about.

    I’m horrible at negotiating, but I’m in the middle of it w my tenant. Jumped in w both feet. I won’t sink, I will swim. So will all of you!

    Don’t ever expect to know everything & be good at everything & what a burden that would be! You would have no place to go except down. Being mperfect gives us room to excel at something now & then & rise up!

    Ever notice those people who have 100 surgeries trying to be perfect… end up looking like odd surgical monsters? There is no perfect. Aim to be happy! Or happily imperfect.

    Danielle, you make all of us happy!

    Reply
  6. Sarah Prescott
    Sarah Prescott says:

    Dear Danielle, thank you for not being perfect, so that you can show us how to live with our imperfections!! And that we are not alone in our procrastination!! XXO

    Reply
  7. Daniela Mannucci
    Daniela Mannucci says:

    Thank you for being so open and sharing with what many of us struggle with. I will use this blog article to my benefit by noticing more and practicing true awareness every time the ‘I’m not good enough’ feelings rise within me. I have understood that I was programmed to believe this but that is no longer my choice and I get first say in what thoughts and beliefs roll around now in my head and being!

    Reply
  8. Melanie Thorpe
    Melanie Thorpe says:

    I wanted to write a response in thanks for your article, but then thought it probably wouldn’t be good enough. Ha, I’m in the right place. I’m choosing instead to align with “my 3%”….. so thankyou ; >

    Reply

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